


write about clumsy teens

by fated_addiction



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, Real Person Fiction, SM Entertainment | SMTown, So Nyuh Shi Dae | Girls' Generation, f(x), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Romance, all the aus all the time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4736237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Soojung buys a bookstore. It's a block away from her apartment and right next to the coffee shop which, for argument's sake, is entirely too perfect to begin with.</i>
</p><p>Or that time Soojung broke her engagement because she gets sea sick. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	write about clumsy teens

**Author's Note:**

> And then this happened.
> 
> Somehow, this decided to be set in the same universe as [the history of us](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4727024) because I like surprising myself and accidentally connecting things. I've been sitting on this for a while because the prompt was just too good and really, any opportunity to dive into SM 'verses are always fun. Anyways. All the AUs!
> 
> Prompt: 'bookstore' + 'soojung + jongin' -- thanks to the Tumblr Anon that suggested this one too.

Soojung buys a bookstore. It's a block away from her apartment and right next to the coffee shop which, for argument's sake, is entirely too perfect to begin with. The building is a lightly blue; it's odd and the door is cracked. She thinks to herself: _it's going to get cold in the winter_. But this is hours after she signs the lease.

Her mother makes Sooyeon call her.

"Do you at least have a business plan?" she asks, amused. Her older sister is never surprised when Soojung does things. Like dye her hair blonde and wear too much eye shadow. Like break an engagement with with the son of a shipbuilding inheritance -- with Sooyeon dating a girl _and_ a songwriter, she was her mother's last hope.

"I do," she sighs and Sooyeon laughs. "People forget I went to school for this."

There's a muffled laugh on the line. Soojung frowns and wonders if Taeyeon is nearby.

"I know," Sooyeon soothes. "I also know that everyone is worried about you. You didn't just breakup with Jongdae. You stood up in the middle of dinner, cleared your throat, and told him that he had to go and love who he wanted to love."

"Not my best," Soojung shrugs.

Sooyeon laughs brightly and Soojung can feel the corners of her mouth quirk.

"If this makes you happy," her sister says, "than I am all for it." There is a pause and she can imagine her sister standing in her kitchen, more than likely making Taeyeon tea for whatever writer's day she's having. Sooyeon's hands are long and delicate, always thoughtful with how she makes and creates things. 

"Just remember that, okay?" her sister adds. "And if it doesn't, promise me that you'll --" 

Sooyeon doesn't finish, but she knows her sister well enough to know that the 'insert word here' has a lot to do with disappointment.

"It'll be fine," she says, fishing the key out of her back pocket.

Soojung bites her lip. She looks around the store, then to the wide, open window against the store front. Everything is dusty and a little sad; she thinks colors and deep woods and maybe a mix of local authors, world literature, and all the current newspapers for the neighborhood ahjussis.

She's still pragmatic though.

"And even if it doesn't ..." Soojung replies, sighing too, "it's too late to go back."

 

 

 

 

Jongdae calls once in the first three months that she is open. A list of things happen before and after; she hires two high schoolers, a single mother, and an ex-con for flavor (he keeps a bat under the cash register and she is okay with that); there are two shipments for the romance section and an accidental third, much to the delight of Qian-eonni who is ridiculous and gives her two hundred dollars for the entire box.

"It's for you," High Schooler One says to her, handing the phone. She's found Soojung hiding in the back, halfway between the books to make sure the numbers for the month are correct and with another hand inside a box with new items.

She glares at the High Schooler One, a girl, who then scurries back to the front of the bookstore. Pressing the phone between her shoulder and cheek, she sighs first before she answers.

"Hello?"

There is a laugh. She freezes and straightens. "Yah," she says slowly. "I saved your life and _this_ is how long you take to call me, oppa?"

"Don't you know _anything_ about a grieving period," he teases and all Soojung can imagine is that stupid, wide smile he used to give her, even when they were in school.

"You're not dead," she groans. "I'm sure your mother was thrilled anyway -- she hates me."

"Not anymore," he replies with amusement.

Soojung rolls her eyes. "Of course not," she shoots back, "since I've become the patron saint of getting rejected daughter-in-laws."

"You're ridiculous."

He laughs again and she thinks to herself _why_ did her parents have to go and ruin a perfectly solid friendship. She wonders if it's par for the course anyway; they were each other's first kiss and Soojung knows how to be the right kind of daughter-in-law, despite how his mother felt about her and vice-versa.

"I heard you opened a bookstore," he says. There is a shuffle of papers. Soojung closes the box next to her, kicking it to the side. "Your mother told mine at lunch."

Soojung rolls her eyes. "I won't come to work for you," she says. She rubs her eyes. "I get sea sick."

He snorts. "You would kill me," he half-agrees. "And probably take over the company anyway. To spite someone, anyone actually."

"Which is why," she agrees, "my little hole in the wall, in a quiet neighborhood, is exactly what I need to do. So I don't murder you, my mom, and walk myself into a procedural drama on at midnight."

Jongdae laughs and promises to visit. They talk a little more about her plans, his plans, and the nice girl that he actually loves. She has met Sunyoung once or twice, coincidentally because of both Taeyeon and Qian. She's a singer. She's bright and cheerful, unfazed by sour moods and probably actually likes kids as oppose to Soojung who has to remember to try and not scare some of them away.

Before their conversation ends though, Jongdae pauses. She listens to the way he sighs and the change the range of his voice.

He says: "Yah, Soojung --" and it's a weird, sudden flashback to their high school days. It's visceral enough to make her look down, pull at her skirt and realize that she is actually just wearing jeans.

"What did you do?" she says lightly.

He's humming nervously, she realizes. His voice hits at her ear.

"Jongin is back," he manages. Jongdae isn't that careful. "Just last night," he says.

At the register, High Schooler Two breaks a brand, new candle votive.

It's only glass.

 

 

 

 

They were unassuming.

The last memory she holds onto about Jongin is sitting on the back of a car, next to him, and it is too dark outside to see the stars. It was the day before he left for university first; they are holding hands and she is waiting for him to say the words: This is over and I'm sorry. 

"There are grass stains on your knees," he says instead, leaning in and using the light from his phone to check.

Soojung has a sticky mouth. "Well, there are worse things," she says.

He laughs.

"My mother won't hate you any less," she offers, amused. He squeezes her fingers and lets go of her hand, shifting forward to examine her knees closer. "In fact, I could probably recite, word for word, the lecture that I am going to get in the morning."

"Let's hope for variety," he's dry, "for your sake."

Soojung laughs too, but the sound is shy and her head falls forward, dropping against his shoulder. His phone lands somewhere between them, the light flickering as his fingers spread over her knee. They're wet with his saliva and he's pushing at her skin, trying to clean the grass off. Or mark her. She wouldn't put it past him at that point.

"You're going to break up with me," she says lightly. Neither of them look at each other, but she drops a hand in his hair, stroking her fingers through and to the back of his neck. "You're not exactly the best at these things, you know."

"I know," he murmurs. He does not say: not yet. Jongin is a dancer, an incredibly talented dancer who will say goodbye because he is off to study, craft, and make something solid of himself. They all know that. She feels like she accepted it first.

Soojung chews on her lip. "I just wanted you to know."

He grins and it's awkward -- they have always been a little odd. He leans in, brushes his mouth over her knee, and she makes a sound.

"You can be sad," he says gently. "I am," he says too and the thing about Jongin is simple: he has always been a little too wise, but it's never delicate enough for anyone to notice. She loved him for it then.

Her eyes are dry though. The roof of her mouth feels like its pinching and she pushes her tongue forward, against her teeth. She could be eloquent her.

Instead, she leans in. Cranes her neck forward. Tucks her mouth against his jaw, then his chin, and ends with a chaste kiss against his nose. She would kiss him here too, but her heart is starting to change its pace and she feels the beat press into her ribs. Her head is a little heavy.

"I'm not though," she lies, and Jongin laughs because he knows.

The truth is she has always been following him from behind.

 

 

 

 

When fall happens, the bookstore has finally begun to feel settled. There is a tree in the front, in view of some new seating, that starts to pink with reds and oranges, just over a few people that pass in scarves and slightly heavier jackets.

Soojung is alone at the register, drinks her coffee with sugar and reads Sylvia Plath because, at heart, she is really just that ironic.

She checks her watch. High Schooler Two is due first, her ex-con is bring a new shipment on his way in, and her Single Mother will be "a little late because someone at the daycare thought they fed Bo Young peanuts when really they were just chocolate bites" -- after that phone call, Soojung calls her sister and officially swears off kids for the fourth time that week.

The door opens. There is a bell on the top corner; it covers the crack and might work for her first winter. Soojung closes her book and looks up. Then she stops, wide-eyed.

"Oh."

Jongin pulls at the collar of his jacket. He rubs his hands together.

"Hey," he greets and she has to remember there is a difference between seeing him when she was sixteen and now, when she's almost twenty-five. He smiles. She falters. "I had to come and see," he offers.

"Ah." Her lips purse. "Jongdae," she guesses.

He nods. "I heard about that." Your almost marriage, he doesn't say. "Sorry," he says too.

She shrugs. "Ending us early costs less. I had visions of myself and prescription pain kills as a housewife."

Jonging laughs, moving inside the bookstore. She watches as he looks in. He picks up a book about Picasso, puts it down, and then sits in one of the chairs between the window and the door, stretching his legs out.

"You're missing out on a career as a serial drama writer."

"So I've been told," her voice is dry.

It takes her a minute to realize how her hands are trembling, like really trembling, over the hardcover of her book. She shuffles it forward to hide it, but ends up looking clumsy and nearly knocking over a mug full of pens by her elbow.

"What are you doing here?" she asks quietly and desperately wishes for some kind of stability. This is the thing about Jongin; at sixteen, he terrified her; now as an adult, she feels sixteen again.

He licks his lips. "I don't know," he's honest. "I mean, I had this whole thing prepared where I'd pull you aside, admit to wanting to come back just so that I could _crash_ your wedding and steal you away --"

"That's ridiculous."

"I know," he says lightly. Then he's serious. "Jongdae is too good of a dude."

They stare at each other. Soojung is the first to look away, her hands curling against the edge of the counter.

"I wouldn't have gone through it," she says and the words are a little heavier. She is careful too, studying the spines of the books on the shelves in front of her. The shelves need dusting, she thinks absently, just as the light from the window hits a few of the books. "I'm not that kind of girl," she manages finally, turning her gaze back. "I think I could have loved Jongdae for respecting that."

Jongin nods, shifting off of his seat. He doesn't press. He says something about the weather though, something about an overcast and his jacket. It doesn't matter. She'll try really hard to remember later, alone at home and in her kitchen.

She doesn't ask if he's still dancing.

(He isn't.)

 

 

 

 

On her first real day off, she goes to Sooyeon's apartment and hides because she is good at hiding and because Taeyeon and Sooyeon have never asked any questions.

She is sitting next to her sister on the couch though, her legs tucked up as she listens to Taeyeon on the piano, surrounded by notes and trying to work through a song. Sooyeon is leaning against her back, fixing her braid as she tries to explain an alternative to her bookkeeping habits.

Finally, Soojung snaps. "Kim Jongin showed up at the store the other day." She feels Sooyeon's hands stop moving. "He came to see me," she says quietly, as if it weren't obvious. 

She can feel Sooyeon looking at Taeyeon over her shoulder. Her sister's girlfriend stops at the piano, glancing up, and tucks her pen behind her ear.

"Jongin?" she asks Sooyeon.

"Her high school boyfriend," comes the prim answer from her sister. Taeyeon grins, amused, and comes over, wedging Soojung between them on the couch.

"He wasn't really my boyfriend," she protests weakly.

Sooyeon snorts. "Remember that song you wrote for Tiffany's first album?" she tells Taeyeon. "Remember that video -- Soojung and Jongin were like that angsty, ironic couple that were too pretty not to be together but too into themselves to be anywhere near romantic."

"Hey! _Eonni_!"

Sooyeon looks smug and Taeyeon laughs, patting her head.

"I get it," she tells her. "I was the same way in university."

"She was," Sooyeon quips.

"You _guys_ ," she groans, hiding a smile against her hand. "I get that you love each other and all, but, like, _please_."

Both of them laugh at her, over her head, and Taeyeon slides an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for half a hug. She has alway spent more time with Sooyeon and now, it's more time with Sooyeon and Taeyeon, something she doesn't even fight. Her sister is happy and coincidentally, it makes her happy enough; Soojung has always had issues trusting her own happiness.

She leans into Taeyeon's shoulder, biting her lip. "He was the one that I could have loved," she says quietly, gaze downcast and trained on the floor. Her face feels flushed. "I don't know how else to put it without sounding really, really ridiculous. But oppa, he never really expected anyone else but me and all my flaws. And that's so scary to me."

Sooyeon strokes her hair. "Now Taeyeon is going to write a love song," she says dryly.

"I resent that," her girlfriend quips. She kisses Sooyeon's hand and squeezes Soojung closer. "And it doesn't have to be anything other than what you want it to be, you know. You can spend lifetimes remembering everything; what you could have said, done, or changed. You could talk about how he was the one, or you were the one, or if you had held out just a little longer instead of growing up, then... well, you don't know."

"Told you," Sooyeon murmurs and Soojung snorts, laughing and finding Taeyeon's hand.

"The _point_ is," Taeyeon tells her, her voice even and warm. Her amusement is clear too. "Stop trying to punish yourself, Soojung. He came to see you for a reason."

It takes a moment for her to realize that her eyes are burning and maybe, just maybe, she is starting to cry. She could call it all that pent up, misdirected rage and confusion and bitterness at trying to do the right thing but choosing to cope instead. She could call it her mother, her father, Jongdae, and failing to fit into some kind of mold, an appropriate mold, when all she's ever wanted to do is move through her life freely, mistakes, regrets, and everything in between.

She turns her head into Taeyeon's shoulder and feels Sooyeon peel her book from her fingers, tossing it somewhere onto the coffee table. Her vision is blurry and both women curl around her, Sooyeon's mouth in her hair and Taeyeon is telling her that she needs to keep crying, it's going to be okay Soojung-ah, we love you, you're our family. She cries until her eyes feel caked and her hiccups are hitting her teeth because she is twenty-five, confused, and unable to think of herself as marginally brave.

At her engagement party, her mother chose to tell the story about how Soojung was six and afraid of her own shadow.

Soojung remembers it too well.

 

 

 

 

The afternoon High Schooler One quits, Soojung gets a text message from Jongdae that reads _didn't want to give your number out without permission; jongin is drinking a latte next door, go have coffee! ~_ and if she were in a better mood, she'd even laugh. Instead she passes the shift torch to Single Mother With The Kid That Had The Faux Peanut Allergy Scare, grabs her wallet, and offers to bring back a chai for her in about an hour.

Her sweater makes her feel clumsy as she crosses the few feet to the coffee shop, tugging at her sleeves and waving to the barista before seeking Jongin out. Her gaze finds him at a table in the back and he looks up, just as she settles on him, his mouth turning into some kind of smile.

"Anything eonni?" the barista asks.

"Surprise me," she says as she walks and the barista laughs. "I'm feeling spontaneous," she says too and means it.

Jongin is amused when she sits down. 

"You look tired."

"One of my kids quit today," she says. "Something about how she could no longer work side by side with oppa. Then I found out from my ex-con that oppa is actually happy with his super sweet boyfriend. They're on the soccer team or something."

"Sounds dramatic," he says.

"Or something on the internet," she shrugs.

He laughs.

They wait until the barista brings her coffee to the table. She orders Single Mother's chai for later, then wraps her hands around the mug, crossing her legs under the table. She meets Jongin's gaze head on.

"You look happier," he observes. "Better than a few days ago."

"I had a moment," she admits.

"Join the club."

The truth is that she is desperately curious now to know what he's been doing all these years. She could ask Jongdae. She could have Sooyeon or Taeyeon pull a few favors -- but it's embarrassing and she'd rather hear it from him, all the same.

"This is weird."

Jongin nods, leaning over his coffee. "I know. I keep trying to see you, you know? But all I see is adult you and it's -- strange and nice and equally just as terrifying as I thought it would be." Then he leans closer, taking her hand. Their fingers lace together. "You're beautiful," he says simply.

Soojung isn't the girl that blushes. Her heart tightens and she bites her lip.

"You're beautiful," she says back, watching him. "I don't really know how to look at you."

It's true. His eyes are dark. His mouth seems to be permanently craved into amusement; she finds it fascinating though, picks up on the changes that go between sharp and soft almost too quickly.

His thumb slides into her palm.

"I'm not dancing," he says. Her face changes and he shakes his head. "It's okay. The knee injury was hard for a few years, but then I did some traveling, figured my ego out, and found out that I'm a lot better at different things ... medicine, I guess."

She blinks. "You're a doctor?"

"Emergency medicine," he shrugs. His amusement seems to grow. Her mouth falls open a little. "I had a weird epiphany when I was in the military."

Soojung picks and weighs a million different things together. She's startled at how honest he is, then remembers that he has always been like this, and maybe, suddenly finds herself falling a little for him. 

"Well," she says slowly. "I had a weird epiphany and ... bought a bookstore?"

Jongin shakes his head. "It's not weird. It's not surprising either. It's kind of romantic, if you think about it."

Her legs jerk forward, her knees knocking into his, and Soojung realizes that she's blushing and that there is a small, sudden smile pressing against her mouth. She looks down, staring at her coffee. She'll it to go. She might feel a little guilty.

"I think I like it."

He nods. "It's very you." Then he reaches forward, brushing her hair behind her ear. His fingers tuck against the collar of her sweater. "I've been looking for a place to crash when I have a late couple of days at the hospital. I like that it's quiet."

Her boots shuffle under the table.

"You can come stay," she says, and quickly, too quickly really. She bites her lip and then shies into a smile. "I don't mind the company. It's mostly me. We're busier on the weekends."

Jongin remains honest. "I'd like that," he says.

They finish their coffee quietly. She spaces a few questions out and asks about the hospital; in turn, Jongin asks about her sister, if she still paints, and if it's safe for her to walk home alone at night. Before they leave the coffee shop, the barista tells them that they look good together and instead of being a generic mistake, Soojung finds that she holds Jongin's hand a little tighter as they leave and he carries Single Mother's chai in his other hand.

He's called to work when he leaves her in front of the bookstore. The moment creates itself though and Jongin leans in, but she takes the first step. 

"Come see me on your next break," she murmurs. "I'll be around late."

He cups her face. She feels herself smile as he presses his mouth into her forehead, breathing her in. His mouth isn't heavy, but it's hot, sticky, and she imagines how the coffee might taste. He smells sweet and she curls her fists into the ends of his jacket. His fingers tuck against her jaw and they linger, just a little, enough for it to carry the same kind of weight as a kiss. 

"I'd like that," he says then.

Later, it's The Older Ex-Con that smiles, pats his bat, and hands her a new edition of a collection of essays that she has been talking about for a week or so.

Soojung can already feel the heat on her face. "It's called a date," he says.

Soojung is pragmatic, after all.

 

 

 

 

At the next family dinner, Sooyeon tells her mother she is dating a doctor.

Jongdae sends them a preemptive wedding gift, complete with obnoxious wrapping paper and a box that screams ugly vase.

Jongin finds this all hilarious, greets her in hospital blues behind the counter with a coffee and pastry in both hands.

"I wonder what we'll get when I actually kiss you," he says.


End file.
